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Divorce in Australia: Who gets what? Why you aren’t necessarily entitled to 50/50

Splitting things 50/50 is an idea that is deeply ingrained in most of us from childhood, but it’s often not actually the fairest outcome. Many separating couples make the mistake of assuming that they simply need to keep everything in their own names and split whatever they own jointly – without realising that one of them is being disadvantaged.

[BTW: You can talk through your own situation right now with the world’s first AI separation guide. Chatting to Lumi is completely free and only takes about 10 minutes.]While this approach may be fine in some cases, who gets what in separation and divorce has more to do with needs and contributions than whose name things happen to be in. One of you shouldn’t be disadvantaged, for example, if you’ve given to the relationship by caring for children and as a result had your ability to earn and retirement savings reduced.Agreeing how to divide property can be an emotional process and it’s rare for even the most amicable couples to have the same perspective on things. To make sure you don’t get stuck in limbo, let’s look at the guidelines set out in the family law act and then walk through some practical steps you can take for getting to a fair financial agreement (also known as a property settlement) for your separation or divorce.

What’s fair according to the law?

When a court works out who gets what in divorce in Australia, they follow these 4 steps:1. Identify and value all of the property of the parties
2. Assess the contributions of the parties
3. Identify the needs of the parties
4. Determine what a just and equitable division would beSo when it comes to working out who gets what, it mostly comes down to correctly understanding what is in your shared property pool and then considering the contributions and needs of each of you.

The shared property pool

This topic needs an article of its own, but in simple terms, pretty much all of the assets and liabilities that you and your ex-partner have should be considered in your shared property pool. This is regardless of whose name they’re in or whether you got them before or after your separation. This includes things like superannuation, interests in companies and trusts, and even assets and liabilities shared with a third party. When separating couples only consider things that are in their joint names (such as a house), they can end up with a division that seems ok on the surface but actually leaves one of them severely disadvantaged.

Contributions

You don’t have to be earning the money to be contributing to the wealth of the relationship. Caring for children, being a homemaker or renovating property could be considered contributions. These could even come from your families, such as a gift or loan to buy your first home or looking after the children.In general, the longer your relationship, the less contributions are a factor. For example, a relationship of longer than 15 years would typically be seen as a long-term relationship and the contributions likely considered equal. However, this always depends on the specific circumstances.

Needs

You’ll then need to consider your current and future needs. The most common needs that impact how you split your property are to do with your ages, your health, your ability to earn now and in the future and your responsibilities for caring for children. Generally, if one of you is worse off than the other when comparing these factors, then an additional portion of the pool is given to you to help balance this out. When it comes to needs, your access to other resources such as support from family or a future inheritance may also be taken into consideration when working out how a particular need should impact the way you split things.

How to do it

These things sound simple enough in principle, but in reality, separating couples often find it difficult to come to an agreement on them. One reason for this is that in Australia, our family law system is discretionary, which means that rather than having hard and fast rules for who gets what, it’s left to the discretion of judges to apply the principles as they think most appropriate for the circumstances.This makes it difficult for amicable couples who genuinely want to do what’s right by each other but are unsure of exactly how to proceed. We’ve seen so many couples get stuck in a limbo where they have no clear plan forward for resolving things but are hesitant to resort to using lawyers. Let’s walk through the practical things that you can do to get to an agreement that is fair and you can both live with.1. Start with goals
2. Know what’s in your shared property pool
3. Don’t be positional
4. Commit to self-determination
5. Agree on a timeline
6. Get advice
7. Put time aside
8. Listen first
9. Stay future-focused
10. Explore options

1. Start with goals

It’s important that you are both clear on what really matters to you, and why, so that you don’t waste time and resources in unnecessary conflict. There are usually a few big things that really matter, and then a whole lot of details that simply don’t. Taking some time upfront to think deeply and honestly about the future will put you in the right frame of mind to have the important conversations you’ll need to have. It will also give you a good sense of what kind of agreement you’d be able to live with if hard choices need to be made.Separating couples quickly get so fixated on their disagreements that they fail to see just how much they actually do agree on. In mediation we call these areas of agreement ‘common ground’. As you think about the future, you might be surprised at just how much overlap you have with each other.Finally, zooming out to the bigger picture will provide you both with a good perspective anchor. No matter how amicable you may be, there are going to be things that you don’t agree on. You’ll be aware of some of these already, and some of them won’t become apparent until you start trying to work towards an agreement. If you lose your sense of perspective, you’ll find things getting derailed quickly.We have a needs and goals template you can access for free when you create a plan with Lumi, which is the world’s first separation and divorce robot. Get access to Lumi now.

2. Know what’s in your shared property pool

We talked earlier about the importance of needing to know what is actually in your shared property pool before considering how to best divide it. You can break this down to 2 questions:1. What do we have?
2. What is it worth?
You’ll need to agree on a value for everything in your property pool. If you disagree on the value of something or are unsure, you may wish to get it valued. A common way to do this is for one of you to provide three valuers, the other to choose one and for both of you to split any costs.And don’t forget that the property pool isn’t just about assets, you’ll also need to agree how you’ll split liabilities such as debts and credit cards. In fact, some couples have nothing but debt to split. Again, it may not matter whose name these are in and people are sometimes shocked to discover that they’ve contracted a STD (sexually transmitted debt).We also have a property pool template you can access for free when you create a plan with Lumi.

3. Don’t be positional

The fastest way for a conversation about property to hit a stalemate is for you to each start with a position that you then defend, hoping that the other will see sense and compromise. Once you’ve hit this point there’s not really anywhere left to go, which is one of the reasons that 56% of Australians take more than a year to sort out their property and 30% take more than 2 years (according to research from the Institute of Family studies).A common trap that people fall into is to start with a percentage. This entrenches you into a position very quickly and changes the conversation from a rich discussion about needs, goals and options into a one-dimensional tug-of-war where you can only give or take. Use percentages as a sanity check as you explore options rather than an end in themselves.By keeping an open mind and looking for those third alternatives that meet both of your needs and address both of your goals, you can keep a constructive conversation moving back and forth rather than becoming entrenched in positions and finding yourself stuck.

4. Commit to self-determination

Self-determination means that rather than having someone else’s decisions imposed on you (such as a judge), the two of you stay in control of the process and mutually decide how you’re going to move forward. Even if it takes some time to get there, agreements that you make together are more likely to work and allow you to move forward positively.Commit up-front to resolving things between yourselves and be sensitive to how the other person is feeling. As time goes on, it’s not uncommon for one person to start feeling as though the other isn’t making the effort or isn’t genuine about resolving things. There’s often a window of time before one of you is driven to the legal route out of sheer frustration. You’ll need to actively work to make sure this doesn’t happen.

5. Agree on a timeline

One of the hardest things in separation and divorce is the uncertainty. Many couples we work with talk about this as “living in limbo”. One of the best things you can do is have a timeline that you’ve both committed to. Being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel makes a huge difference to your ability to reach it.A great way to do this is with our resolution roadmap that you can access for free when you create a plan with Lumi. Lumi is the world’s first separation and divorce robot. Get access to Lumi now.

6. Get advice

Good legal advice can be one of the most empowering factors for being able to agree things together with confidence. Many couples try to avoid lawyers altogether because they associate them with conflict and cost. In fact, in 2014, only 29% of separating couples did their property settlement with the benefit of legal advice. We think lawyers get a bad wrap and have a crucial role to play.Self-determination supported by good legal advice is what you want to achieve if you can. Although you might think that having a single lawyer advise both of you is the obvious solution for an amicable separation, our adversarial legal system requires that you have independent legal advice. You’re best bet is to each find yourself a good specialist family lawyer who’s collaboratively minded and make it clear that you want to resolve things amicably.Although you shouldn’t become fixated on a percentage, you do need to know whether what you’re proposing is in the zone. A good lawyer can help you understand what is in the pool and how your contributions and needs apply to your situation. This will actually empower your commitment to self-determination as you’ll know where the boundaries are and be able to make better decisions for yourself.

7. Put time aside

In separation and divorce, I’ve learned that the natural state is for nothing to happen. That’s the default, and will be the result in your situation unless you specifically put time aside to have important conversations. We researched the experience of 50 separating couples and were amazed how even the most amicable of them went for months and years without ever having good conversations about the most important things. The right time just never arrives.The only way to make this happen is to put it in the diary and make it a priority. You’ll need at least 2-3 hours together in a quiet, private space. You’ll also need to be clear on your property pool. I’d strongly recommend having a qualified mediator facilitate this conversation for you. This will give you the best chance of having a constructive, thorough conversation. They will also document your agreement to keep everyone accountable (you’ll also want to legally formalise this, but that will be the topic of another post).

8. Listen first

How well do you understand the needs, goals and fears of your ex-partner? What’s most important for them coming out of this separation? Why?Your ability to have constructive conversations and find good solutions hinges on your willingness to listen first. To empathise. To acknowledge. A very common pattern we see is that one partner will create a spreadsheet with a proposal for a settlement early on in a business-like manner, which the other partner then either refuses to consider outright or nitpicks tiny details of. I believe this often has nothing to do with the details of the proposal itself and everything to do with its context. The other party feels rushed, pressured and dictated to, they’ve not been heard and haven’t contributed to it – they’ve rejected it before they even look at it; if they look at it at all.Talk about needs before you get to numbers. Let them be heard. Until that has happened, you might find wheels spinning.

9. Stay future-focused

This is a conversation about the future, not the past. One of the key skills that we are taught as mediators is to constantly shift the focus back to the future to help unstick conversations that have drifted back to the past. It’s inevitable that old issues and feelings are going to come up in this kind of conversation, so you’ll need to be ready to bring the focus back the how you are going to move forward whenever they do. This is also another reason why having an accredited mediator facilitate the conversation is a good idea.

10. Explore options

Ultimately, you should approach this conversation is an exploration: How might we meet the needs we have with the resources available to us?Be prepared to create multiple options. Be willing to see where an idea might go instead of shooting it down immediately. Your eventual agreement will probably look different to the first proposal that either of you puts forward. Straight out compromise may be required, but see if you can’t come up with a better option first.If you’re doing this on your own, it helps to use sticky notes with items and values on them. Move them around together and take photos of various options.

Your next step

Working out who gets what in your divorce will probably be harder than you first expected. Although you’re sure to have some different perspectives on things along the way, following these steps with a mutual commitment to resolving things will give you the best chance of coming to your own agreement. Property settlements tend to get harder rather than easier over time so you’re best dealing with it as soon as you’re ready to move forward.To get started on your own, you can get free access to the tools I’ve mentioned by using Lumi, the world’s first separation and divorce robot.Adieu is a social enterprise that helps separating families find their best way forward.

Privacy Policy

In this Privacy Policy, ‘us’ ‘we’ or ‘our’ means Adieu Accounting Pty Ltd (ABN 17 621 100 034). We are committed to respecting your privacy. Our Privacy Policy sets outs out how we collect, use, store and disclose your personal information in order to help you to meet your family law disclosure obligations, and enable your legal adviser to be more effective.Relationship breakdown is a personal and sensitive topic and we take your privacy very seriously. Any information we collect from you is used solely to provide you with a better service and is never shared, sold or used in any other way that would benefit us and not you.By providing personal information to us, you consent to our collection, use and disclosure of your personal information in accordance with this Privacy Policy and any other arrangements that apply between us. We may change our Privacy Policy from time to time by publishing changes to it on our website. We encourage you to check our website periodically to ensure that you are aware of our current Privacy Policy.Personal information includes information or an opinion about an individual that is reasonably identifiable.

What personal information do we collect?

The purpose of Adieu’s AI Paralegal service is to assist you in compiling information as part of fulfilling you financial disclosure obligations, relating to you family law matter (pursuant to Rule 6.06 of the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Family Law) Rules 2021 (Cth)). This information may otherwise be difficult for you to source, prepare and provide to your lawyer. We do this as a service to you, in the capacity of being a registered tax agent, acting with your signed authorisation. Accordingly, we may collect the following key family law financial disclosure information:

In order to provide our service to you, we may also collect general contact information such as:

Where do we collect personal information from?

We may collect these types of personal information either directly from you, or from third parties. We may collect this information when you:

In addition, when you apply for a job or position with us we may collect certain information from you (including your name, contact details, working history and relevant records checks) from any recruitment consultant, your previous employers and others who may be able to provide information to us to assist in our decision on whether or not to make you an offer of employment or engage you under a contract. This Privacy Policy does not apply to acts and practices in relation to employee records of our current and former employees, which are exempt from the Privacy Act.

Why do we collect, use and disclose personal information?

We may collect, hold, use and disclose your personal information for the following purposes:

To whom do we disclose your personal information?

We may disclose personal information for the purposes described in this privacy policy to:

Retention of documents

We only retain your documents for the life of your matter, to provide our service to you. At the conclusion of your matter, we permanently destroy any documents we hold, in compliance with APESB standards for public accounting practices for non-complex, compilation services.

Storage of personal information

We may securely store personal information using cloud storage services provided by AWS and Google. All data is stored in accordance with Australian Privacy Principles.

Using our tool and cookies

We may collect personal information about you when you use and access our tool.We may record certain information about your use of our tool, such as which pages you visit, the time and date of your visit and the internet protocol address assigned to your computer.We may also use ‘cookies’ or other similar tracking technologies on our tool that help us track your website usage and remember your preferences. Cookies are small files that store information on your computer, TV, mobile phone or other device. They enable the entity that put the cookie on your device to recognise you across different websites, services, devices and/or browsing sessions. You can disable cookies through your internet browser but our tool may not work as intended for you if you do so.We may also use cookies to enable us to collect data that may include personal information. For example, where a cookie is linked to your account, it will be considered personal information under the Privacy Act. We will handle any personal information collected by cookies in the same way that we handle all other personal information as described in this Privacy Policy.

Security

We may hold your personal information in either electronic or hard copy form. We take reasonable steps to protect your personal information from misuse, interference and loss, as well as unauthorised access, modification or disclosure and we use a number of physical, administrative, personnel and technical measures to protect your personal information. However, we cannot guarantee the security of your personal information.

Links

Our tool may contain links to websites operated by third parties. Those links are provided for convenience and may not remain current or be maintained. Unless expressly stated otherwise, we are not responsible for the privacy practices of, or any content on, those linked websites, and have no control over or rights in those linked websites. The privacy policies that apply to those other websites may differ substantially from our Privacy Policy, so we encourage individuals to read them before using those websites.

Making a complaint

If you think we have breached the Privacy Act, or you wish to make a complaint about the way we have handled your personal information, you can contact us through the contact us function on our website. Please include your name, email address and/or telephone number and clearly describe your complaint. We will acknowledge your complaint and respond to you regarding your complaint within a reasonable period of time. If you think that we have failed to resolve the complaint satisfactorily, we will provide you with information about the further steps you can take.

Contact Us

For further information about our Privacy Policy or practices, or to access or correct your personal information, or make a complaint, please contact us using info@adieu.ai.

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Terms of use

These terms of use apply to our accounting and paralegal services and platform.adieu.ai is provided by Adieu Accounting Pty Ltd (ABN 17 621 100 034) (Adieu). By accessing and/or using adieu.ai and related services, you agree to these Terms and Conditions, which include our Privacy Policy (available at https://www.adieu.ai/privacy) (Terms). You should review our Privacy Policy and these Terms carefully and immediately cease using adieu.ai if you do not agree to these Terms.In these Terms, ‘us’, ‘we’ and ‘our’ means Adieu Accounting. ‘service’ means accounting or paralegal services provided by Adieu Accounting, and ‘platform’ means the web-based tool hosted at pool.adieu.ai.

The nature of our engagement - accounting services

We provide a document sourcing service directly to end clients, in the capacity of a public accounting firm, delivered under a Public Practice licence issued by CPA Australia, for the purpose of assisting them to provide information as part of fulfilling their financial disclosure obligations, relating to their family law matter (pursuant to Rule 6.06 of the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (Family Law) Rules 2021 (Cth)). This engagement is between Adieu and the client and is separate and independent of any engagement they may have with a lawyer. All data and documents we retrieve remain theirs, and are provided to their lawyer with their written instruction.

The nature of our engagement - paralegal services

We also provide a paralegal service to law firms to assist them with administrative work related to compiling and preparing documents. This engagement is between Adieu and the firm, and each engagement is undertaken on a matter by matter basis. All paralegal work is performed as a bookkeeping and compilation activity, as Public Accounting Service delivered under a Public Practice licence issued by CPA Australia.

The scope of our engagement

All of our engagements are performed in the capacity of a public accountant, as limited-scope, non-complex, document sourcing or compilation services. These are limited scope services for the specific purpose of either assisting clients in providing financial disclosure material to their legal adviser, or assisting firms to perform paralegal work. Adieu will not provide advisory services under this engagement, will not act as a tax agent or accountant outside the scope of this agreement, and any documents provided do not constitute accounting, taxation, or financial planning advice.

Information provided

While we will make our best endeavours to source bank and credit card statements, tax returns, superannuation statements, and tax obligations, credits and liability information on our clients' behalf; in some cases the information available may be limited due to technical and policy factors outside of our control. The information available to us varies from person to person and we cannot guarantee what information and documents we will be able to provide as part of our accounting service. We also require information and authorisations from clients to enable the delivery of our service and will consider our engagement with a client to be complete after 30 days if they fail to provide the necessary information or authorisations.

Use of the adieu.ai platform

Before using the adieu.ai platform, it is important that you understand the following:

Registration

You may need to be a registered member to access certain features of the platform.When you register and activate your account, you will provide us with personal information such as your name and email address. You must ensure that this information is accurate and current. We will handle all personal information we collect in accordance with our Privacy Policy (https://www.adieu.ai/privacy).When you register and activate your account, we will provide you with a user name and password. You are responsible for keeping this user name and password secure and are responsible for all use and activity carried out under this user name.To create an account, you must be:

Collection Notice

We collect personal information about you in order to provide you with our service and for purposes otherwise set out in our Privacy Policy at https://www.adieu.ai/privacy.We may disclose that information to third parties that help us deliver our services (including information technology suppliers, communication suppliers and our business partners) or as required by law. If you do not provide this information, we may not be able to provide all of our services to you.Our Privacy Policy explains: (i) how we store and use, and how you may access and correct your personal information; (ii) how you can lodge a complaint regarding the handling of your personal information; and (iii) how we will handle any complaint. If you would like any further information about our privacy policies or practices, please contact us at info@adieu.ai.By providing your personal information to us, you consent to the collection, use, storage and disclosure of that information as described in the Privacy Policy and these Terms.

Accuracy, completeness and timeliness of information

While we use all reasonable attempts to ensure the accuracy and completeness of the information and documents provided through our services and platform, to the extent permitted by law, including the Australian Consumer Law, we make no warranty regarding the information on the platform. You should monitor any changes to the information contained on the platform.We are not liable to you or anyone else if interference with or damage to your computer systems occurs in connection with the use of the platform or a linked website. You must take your own precautions to ensure that whatever you select for your use from the platform is free of viruses or anything else (such as worms or Trojan horses) that may interfere with or damage the operations of your computer systems.We may, from time to time and without notice, change or add to the platform (including the Terms) or the information, products or services described in it. However, we do not undertake to keep the platform updated. We are not liable to you or anyone else if errors occur in the information on the platform or if that information is not up-to-date.

Linked sites

Our platform may contain links to websites operated by third parties. Those links are provided for convenience and may not remain current or be maintained. Unless expressly stated otherwise, we do not endorse and are not responsible for the content on those linked websites and have no control over or rights in those linked websites.

Intellectual property rights

Unless otherwise indicated, we own or license from third parties all rights, title and interest (including copyright, designs, patents, trademarks and other intellectual property rights) in the platform.You agree that, as between you and us, we own all intellectual property rights in the services and platform, and that nothing in these End User Terms constitutes a transfer to you of any intellectual property rights.

Unacceptable activity

You must not do any act that we would deem to be inappropriate, is unlawful or is prohibited by any laws applicable to our website, including but not limited to:

If we allow you to post any information to the platform, we have the right to take down this information at our sole discretion and without notice.

Warranties and disclaimers

To the maximum extent permitted by law, including the Australian Consumer Law, we make no warranties or representations about our services and platform or the Content, including but not limited to warranties or representations that they will be complete, accurate or up-to-date, that access will be uninterrupted or error-free or free from viruses, or secure.We reserve the right to restrict, suspend or terminate without notice your access to the platform, any Content, or any feature at any time without notice and we will not be responsible for any loss, cost, damage or liability that may arise as a result.

Liability

Adieu is a CPA Practice - Liability limited by a scheme approved under Professional Standards Legislation.To the maximum extent permitted by law, including the Australian Consumer Law, in no event shall we be liable for any direct and indirect loss, damage or expense – irrespective of the manner in which it occurs – which may be suffered due to your use of the platform and/or the information or materials contained on it, or as a result of the inaccessibility of the platform and/or the fact that certain information or materials contained on it are incorrect, incomplete or not up-to-date.

Jurisdiction and governing law

Your use of the platform and our services and these Terms are governed by the law of Queensland and you submit to the non-exclusive jurisdiction of the courts exercising jurisdiction in Queensland.

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Lumi - personal separation guide

Walk through everything that's important to an amicable separation. From sorting out parenting and understanding your ex-partner’s perspective, to dividing your assets and the rules around married and de facto relationships.

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Social Impact

adieu.ai is a verified social enterprise that exists to enable separating families to reach resolution 10x sooner while doubling the number of women able to keep the family home.

As a People and Planet First Verified Social Enterprise, we’ve been recognised by the Social Enterprise World Forum for our innovative business model, impact on the wellbeing of families, and enabling financial independence for women.

As alumni of the Impact Academy social enterprise accelerator, we are part of a new breed of social entrepreneurs who believe the best way to effect audacious social change is through scalable, self-funded, and self-sustaining enterprises that generate impact directly through the products they bring to market. We have also committed to reinvesting the majority of profits back into the purpose.

For more information, see our 2024 Impact Report and our 2025 Theory of Change and Interim Impact Report.

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